My family generally gets together for Thankgiving. This year, though, my brother and his family won't be coming until March. My sister from California did not come in for the holidays. My mom is going there for Christmas. So, only my sister from Alabama came up for the week with her kids. But surprising news, was that my Uncle Mike came down from Long Island for the holiday. My aunts and cousins were also there. It was a great time full of fun and laughter, and of course, football!
My Uncle Mike did well, but there was a moment at the dinner table, when it was obviously very difficult for him to breathe. My niece had accidently set the level on his oxygen bottle to the lowest setting. It is sad to see how sick he has become and I hope that he is able to get a lung transplant in time.
Went to see the movie "Dan in Real Life" on Saturday. I heard so many good things about it on Rachel's blog from some bloggers and had to see it. It was a great movie. Think it has been overlooked. Anytime I told someone I was going to see it, they said they had never heard of it. The theater was pretty empty although the rest of the theaters at the complex seemed busy.
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Where Does the Time Go?
I've been so busy - some fun stuff and too much work stuff! Work is driving me absolutely insane! Too many projects, not enough resources or money or more importantly, TIME -- worse of all is the fact that we have undergone so many re-organizations in the last year, that no one knows who is doing what, who should be doing what and who now has the power. So, I spend all my time re-doing things and re-justifying my numbers and project estimates. One of my peers is not doing his job so my boss has re-allocated his work to me. I'm not sure what they are going to do to him, but I am supposed to make him feel involved while overseeing his work (ie. doing it for him) and giving final approval of his work. I told my boss I don't have time to do that, but here I am forced to do it so that the work gets done. We're going to save $15 million a year so it's not something I can let slide.
Anyway, I've been thinking about this post for a long time but haven't had time to put it in words. A few weeks ago, my daughter turned 18. I remember when I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't married and had no plans to get married, was going to school for my second degree, had my own house, a dog I had rescued who was overly aggressive to everyone but me, and I had never wanted to have children. In fact, I had been told I would find it difficult to get pregnant and that was fine with me. As the oldest of four, who babysat her sisters and brother and then babysat most of the neighborhood for pocket money, I had no desire to have children. I worked different shifts and liked to go out too much. Having a child was not in my plans.
But, when I looked at the results of the pregnancy test and I realized I was pregnant, I was so happy. I was very surprised at how happy I was. Even telling my mother, who was not happy with the news, was not difficult. And, she got over it by the time the baby was born. Naturally, she loved being a grandmother.
I had a supportive family and my mom helped me out a lot when my children were younger. Before Sam went to first grade, I lived not too far from where my mom worked so if I had to work late, she could pick her up from day care for me. I did end up marrying Sam's father when she was two, but family responsibilities were not high on his priority list. Part of the reason we didn't stay together. And, when she went to first grade, we moved to about a mile away from my mom's house. In fact, her brother was born a few weeks before Sam went into first grade. We bought a house a block from the elementary school. Sam did not like change as a child, even good changes bothered her. Right before school was to start, they found mold in the school so the kids had to be bussed to different schools. Sam was not happy about that. The first day of school, I walked her to school and while holding her brother, stood by the bus, while she cried in the window of the school bus looking like a refugee child being shipped away from her family and her village. The bus, for some reason, took over a half hour to pull away from the school. I had to stand there and wave and smile for what seemed like an eternity. Every morning, it was the same tragic scene although her teachers told me she was fine in school. Of course, when the school was cleaned up and she came back to the original school in January, she cried because she no longer took the bus to school.
I think I've done ok by Sam. She is not as independent as I would prefer, but she knows her own mind and does not bow into peer pressure. She has always gone her own way regardless of what her friends do and never participated in what she called the "drama" of high school. She knows who she is and doesn't change for anyone else. When I say she is dependent, I mean, more on me than I would prefer. But we have a very close relationship and she tells me pretty much everything, even things she thinks I will be angry about. She is still finding her own way. The girl who hated high school and barely scraped by grade-wise is getting A's in college. Yes, it is a community college and she is still living at home, but she is studying and working hard at her classes. She is also working two jobs -not saving as much as I would like - the girl likes to shop! She doesn't get that from me although I can spend money as well, but I hate going to the mall.
I look at her and I can't believe she is 18. She tells me she is not sure she is ready for the adult thing. I know she is, but I can't believe 18 years have gone past. But I would not want to relive any of those years. People tell me they wish their children were little again. I've never felt that way. I'll be 45 next month. I also don't feel like I'm that old either. Where has the time gone?
Anyway, I've been thinking about this post for a long time but haven't had time to put it in words. A few weeks ago, my daughter turned 18. I remember when I found out I was pregnant. I wasn't married and had no plans to get married, was going to school for my second degree, had my own house, a dog I had rescued who was overly aggressive to everyone but me, and I had never wanted to have children. In fact, I had been told I would find it difficult to get pregnant and that was fine with me. As the oldest of four, who babysat her sisters and brother and then babysat most of the neighborhood for pocket money, I had no desire to have children. I worked different shifts and liked to go out too much. Having a child was not in my plans.
But, when I looked at the results of the pregnancy test and I realized I was pregnant, I was so happy. I was very surprised at how happy I was. Even telling my mother, who was not happy with the news, was not difficult. And, she got over it by the time the baby was born. Naturally, she loved being a grandmother.
I had a supportive family and my mom helped me out a lot when my children were younger. Before Sam went to first grade, I lived not too far from where my mom worked so if I had to work late, she could pick her up from day care for me. I did end up marrying Sam's father when she was two, but family responsibilities were not high on his priority list. Part of the reason we didn't stay together. And, when she went to first grade, we moved to about a mile away from my mom's house. In fact, her brother was born a few weeks before Sam went into first grade. We bought a house a block from the elementary school. Sam did not like change as a child, even good changes bothered her. Right before school was to start, they found mold in the school so the kids had to be bussed to different schools. Sam was not happy about that. The first day of school, I walked her to school and while holding her brother, stood by the bus, while she cried in the window of the school bus looking like a refugee child being shipped away from her family and her village. The bus, for some reason, took over a half hour to pull away from the school. I had to stand there and wave and smile for what seemed like an eternity. Every morning, it was the same tragic scene although her teachers told me she was fine in school. Of course, when the school was cleaned up and she came back to the original school in January, she cried because she no longer took the bus to school.
I think I've done ok by Sam. She is not as independent as I would prefer, but she knows her own mind and does not bow into peer pressure. She has always gone her own way regardless of what her friends do and never participated in what she called the "drama" of high school. She knows who she is and doesn't change for anyone else. When I say she is dependent, I mean, more on me than I would prefer. But we have a very close relationship and she tells me pretty much everything, even things she thinks I will be angry about. She is still finding her own way. The girl who hated high school and barely scraped by grade-wise is getting A's in college. Yes, it is a community college and she is still living at home, but she is studying and working hard at her classes. She is also working two jobs -not saving as much as I would like - the girl likes to shop! She doesn't get that from me although I can spend money as well, but I hate going to the mall.
I look at her and I can't believe she is 18. She tells me she is not sure she is ready for the adult thing. I know she is, but I can't believe 18 years have gone past. But I would not want to relive any of those years. People tell me they wish their children were little again. I've never felt that way. I'll be 45 next month. I also don't feel like I'm that old either. Where has the time gone?
Saturday, October 27, 2007
Concert Tonight
It rained this weekend. Good news as we needed the rain. Better news, because now I am free to go listen to one of my favorite local groups, Grey Eye Glances. They are playing in Delaware for the first time. It's about an hour from here so definitely commutable.
I thought I was going to be spending my Saturday watching football games. But the rains made them postpone the high school football games which in turn postponed my son's football games. So instead of watching football in the rain, I'll be off to a club listening to a great band. Sunday, instead, I'll be doing the football scene.
Sunday night, I head off to a global meeting I am leading Monday and Tuesday. It is going to be a busy weekend getting ready for that plus some work assignments my boss requested to be completed by Monday. Better get to work!
I thought I was going to be spending my Saturday watching football games. But the rains made them postpone the high school football games which in turn postponed my son's football games. So instead of watching football in the rain, I'll be off to a club listening to a great band. Sunday, instead, I'll be doing the football scene.
Sunday night, I head off to a global meeting I am leading Monday and Tuesday. It is going to be a busy weekend getting ready for that plus some work assignments my boss requested to be completed by Monday. Better get to work!
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Prayers for my Uncle Mike
My Uncle Mike talks tough and is a typical New Yorker. But he hides a big heart and would do anything for his family and friends. He has worked hard his entire life and retired a year or two ago. He worked for Pan Am in various jobs until they went out of business and has had a variety of jobs since then. He loves his two daughters and his wife and feels he has had a good life. Last Spring, while enjoying his retired life, he began going to the gym twice a day in an effort to get healthier and lose some weight. Suddenly, he began having trouble breathing and underwent a series of tests. Turns out all the chemicals he was exposed to during his years at the airline have irreversibly damaged his lungs. He needs a lung transplant or he will probably die in the near future.
Things were looking good for Mike. He's undergoing tests for his transplant; the tests were started in time for him to make the age cutoff for the transplant list. The doctors were optimistic about his chances. I found out tonight that he is in the hospital with a lung infection. Any illness is obviously dangerous for him.
Mike loves children and he likes to "torment" them. When my children were younger, my daughter was afraid of him and didn't want to go to Gram's or Aunt Julie's if Uncle Mike was going to be there. He used to pretend to chew her hair. After a few years, she realized he was not anyone to be afraid of. Above you can see my niece getting the best of Mike.
Mike is a very open and honest man who sees things clearly in black and white. That doesn't mean he doesn't have compassion. He believes that family and commitment are the most important things in life and he lives life that way. If a man gives his word, he needs to honor that pledge. Being ill is hard for him in that he is used to working hard and doing for himself. Not being able to do things like work on his cars or paint the fence is very hard for him. He is accepting of his fate saying he's had a good life, a happy family, beautiful daughters, a good wife and a year of retirement. He's made amends with who he needs to and is at peace no matter what happens to him.
I pray that we keep him around a little longer. We can use more people like him.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Another Monday, Another Ambulance
Every Monday night football game, it seems, we have to call an ambulance to the game. Usually it is for one of the opposing team players - we've had several possible spinal injuries - and it is scary to watch them get strapped into the boards and carted off in the ambulance. Once it was for a spectator who somehow tripped and fell into a street sign, smashing up their nose very badly and also possibly injuring his neck.
Tonight it was for one of our players and the initial thought is that he messed up his ACL. He was having a great game up to that point and had scored a touchdown. We won 33-6 and there were a lot of great plays by our team. My son scored a touchdown and had some other great runs. One of his friends was the boy who got hurt. His parents took it very well, but I thought his grandmother was going to have a heart attack. She was shaking uncontrollably and had an anxiety attack.
Two more weeks of football and then we go into the play-offs. After football, basketball starts fairly quickly. Last year, Jason broke his collarbone about this same time and missed the end of the season and the beginning of basketball. Last weekend, my nephew broke his arm badly playing football down in Alabama. Dangerous game, but they love playing so much and enjoy the physical contact. My son is not a very big kid but he is very tough and can lay out the biggest opponents. I wonder at myself sometimes when I am proud that he's "flattened" another player and the other player has a hard time getting up. And, I wonder how they can tell the other player, after they've been flattened, that it was a good hit and he did a good job.
Tonight it was for one of our players and the initial thought is that he messed up his ACL. He was having a great game up to that point and had scored a touchdown. We won 33-6 and there were a lot of great plays by our team. My son scored a touchdown and had some other great runs. One of his friends was the boy who got hurt. His parents took it very well, but I thought his grandmother was going to have a heart attack. She was shaking uncontrollably and had an anxiety attack.
Two more weeks of football and then we go into the play-offs. After football, basketball starts fairly quickly. Last year, Jason broke his collarbone about this same time and missed the end of the season and the beginning of basketball. Last weekend, my nephew broke his arm badly playing football down in Alabama. Dangerous game, but they love playing so much and enjoy the physical contact. My son is not a very big kid but he is very tough and can lay out the biggest opponents. I wonder at myself sometimes when I am proud that he's "flattened" another player and the other player has a hard time getting up. And, I wonder how they can tell the other player, after they've been flattened, that it was a good hit and he did a good job.
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
The Great Decider
Unfortunately, President Bush was in my hometown the other day. Luckily I was at work 80 miles away and didn't have to deal with him and his entourage. He came here to announce why he was vetoing the Children's Healthcare bill.
From the newspaper, I got a list of Bushisms that he managed to say while here. It's enough to make you cry that this man is the President of the United States.
When talking about cutting taxes, he said
From the newspaper, I got a list of Bushisms that he managed to say while here. It's enough to make you cry that this man is the President of the United States.
My job is a decision-making job. And as a result, I make a lot of decisions.
I always tell Condi Rice, "I want to remind you, Madam Secretary, who has the Ph.D. and who was the C student. And I want to remind you who the advisor is and who the president is.
I got a lot of Ph.D. types and smart people around me who come into the Oval Office and say, "Mr President, here's what's on my mind." And I listen carefully to their advice. But having gathered the device (sic), I decide, you know, I say, "This is what we're going to do." And it's "Yes, sir, Mr President." And then we get after it, implement policy.
When talking about cutting taxes, he said
You know, when you give a man more money in his pocket -- in this case a woman more money in her pocket -- to expand a business, it -- they build buildings. And when somebody builds a new building, somebody has got to come and build the building. And when the building expanded, it prevented (sic) additional opportunities for people to work.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
Foy Vance and his new album, Hope
Don't think it has been released in the States yet, but I got a copy that Foy sent to my cousin. Great album! I really like the quote that Foy put in his cover notes. It came from a book called "Music Lovers Quotations" that he found in a thrift store. I understand why Foy said it took his breath away.
I tell the story of love, the story of sorrow, the story that saves and the story that destroys...I am the smoke which palls over the field of battle where men die with me on their lips.
I am close to the marriage altar, and when the grave opens I stand nearby. I call the wanderer home, I rescue the soul from the depths; I open the lips of lovers and through me the dead whisper to the living.
One I serve as I serve all, and the leaders I make my slaves as easily as I subject their slaves. I speak through the birds of the air, the insects of the field, the crash of waters on rock ribbed shores, the sighing of the winds in the trees and I am even heard by the soul that knows me in the clatter of wheels on the city streets" -- Anonymous
I tell the story of love, the story of sorrow, the story that saves and the story that destroys...I am the smoke which palls over the field of battle where men die with me on their lips.
I am close to the marriage altar, and when the grave opens I stand nearby. I call the wanderer home, I rescue the soul from the depths; I open the lips of lovers and through me the dead whisper to the living.
One I serve as I serve all, and the leaders I make my slaves as easily as I subject their slaves. I speak through the birds of the air, the insects of the field, the crash of waters on rock ribbed shores, the sighing of the winds in the trees and I am even heard by the soul that knows me in the clatter of wheels on the city streets" -- Anonymous
Thursday, September 27, 2007
The Looming Tower
Where did September go?
I went to San Francisco for a business conference. While on the plane, I read Lawrence Wright's book "The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11." It was a fascinating story about how Al-Qaeda evolved and the personal histories of Osama Bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahiri.
"Not content to cleanse its own country of the least degree of religious freedom, the Saudi government set out to evangelize the Islamic world, using the billions of riyals at its disposal through the religious tax -- zakat -- to construct hundreds of mosques and colleges and thousands of religious schools around the globe, staffed with Wahhabi imams and teachers. Eventually, Saudi Arabia, which constitutes only 1 percent of the world Muslim population, would support 90 percent of the expenses of the entire faith, overriding other traditions of Islam.
Music disappeared in the Kingdom. Shortly after the 1979 attack on the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Umm Kalthoum and Fayrouz, the songbirds of the Arab world, were banished from the Kingdom's television stations, which were already dominated by bearded men debating fine points of religious law. There had been a few movie theaters in Saudi Arabia before the mosque attack, but they were quickly shut down. A magnificent concert hall was completed by Riyadh in 1989, but it never hosted a single performance. Censorship smothered art and literature, and intellectual life, which had scarcely had the chance to blossom in the young country, withered. Paranoia and fanaticism naturally occupy minds that are closed and fearful.
For the young, the future in this already joyless environment promised even less than the present. ... Despair and idleness are dangerous companions in any culture, and it was inevitable that the young would search for a hero who could voice their longing for a change and provide a focus for their rage."
I went to San Francisco for a business conference. While on the plane, I read Lawrence Wright's book "The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11." It was a fascinating story about how Al-Qaeda evolved and the personal histories of Osama Bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahiri.
"Not content to cleanse its own country of the least degree of religious freedom, the Saudi government set out to evangelize the Islamic world, using the billions of riyals at its disposal through the religious tax -- zakat -- to construct hundreds of mosques and colleges and thousands of religious schools around the globe, staffed with Wahhabi imams and teachers. Eventually, Saudi Arabia, which constitutes only 1 percent of the world Muslim population, would support 90 percent of the expenses of the entire faith, overriding other traditions of Islam.
Music disappeared in the Kingdom. Shortly after the 1979 attack on the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Umm Kalthoum and Fayrouz, the songbirds of the Arab world, were banished from the Kingdom's television stations, which were already dominated by bearded men debating fine points of religious law. There had been a few movie theaters in Saudi Arabia before the mosque attack, but they were quickly shut down. A magnificent concert hall was completed by Riyadh in 1989, but it never hosted a single performance. Censorship smothered art and literature, and intellectual life, which had scarcely had the chance to blossom in the young country, withered. Paranoia and fanaticism naturally occupy minds that are closed and fearful.
For the young, the future in this already joyless environment promised even less than the present. ... Despair and idleness are dangerous companions in any culture, and it was inevitable that the young would search for a hero who could voice their longing for a change and provide a focus for their rage."
Saturday, September 15, 2007
Injury TimeOut
Went to pick my son up from football practice Thursday night. As I got there, I saw a group of people huddled around someone laying on the ground at the far end of the field. One of my friends was running across the field with a colored afghan she must have grabbed from her car.
My son and other boys were running around the near part of the field so I was instantly relieved to see it wasn't him. Another father came up from the concession stand area calling for his son. I asked him who had been injured and he said I think it is Zach. Zach is the son of my friend who had been running across the field.
I walked across the field to find Zach lying on the ground with a coach (who is also a paramedic) also lying on the ground holding his helmet to keep his head and neck still. Zach's mother was sitting on the ground talking to her son. The ambulance soon arrived and drove across the field. Zach was moving his feet and hands so I felt sure he was going to be ok, but it was still very emotional to see him strapped onto a backboard with his head immoblized and then strapped onto the stretcher. Zach's mom drove in the ambulance to the hospital with her son and I arranged with her that she should call me when they were ready to be picked up. My ex-husband and another friend took her car home for her. She called me around 11 that night to say that they were done at the hospital and he only had a cervical strain.
This weekend, Zach is trying to take it easy. Not so easy for him considering Friday night, one of his friends had a sleepover party with 20 boys. He was there with my son for a few hours and then Zach went home rather than sleeping over. Today, Zach is here with my son and four other boys and they are trying to find things to do that Zach can also do.
My son asked me why Zach's mom was crying at the football field, even though she did her best to hide the tears from her son and the other people. She didn't cry in front of Zach but as she came back down the field to get in the ambulance, she was wiping her eyes. My son noticed that. Jason wanted to know why she was crying and when he hurt his knee, I was making jokes and I didn't cry. I said I didn't want to upset him and wanted him to feel ok - that if I cried in front of him or acted like it was serious, he would be more scared and anxious and it would hurt worse for him. May not have been the best explanation because he said he would know in the future and not believe me when I say that it is fine and not a big deal.
My son and other boys were running around the near part of the field so I was instantly relieved to see it wasn't him. Another father came up from the concession stand area calling for his son. I asked him who had been injured and he said I think it is Zach. Zach is the son of my friend who had been running across the field.
I walked across the field to find Zach lying on the ground with a coach (who is also a paramedic) also lying on the ground holding his helmet to keep his head and neck still. Zach's mother was sitting on the ground talking to her son. The ambulance soon arrived and drove across the field. Zach was moving his feet and hands so I felt sure he was going to be ok, but it was still very emotional to see him strapped onto a backboard with his head immoblized and then strapped onto the stretcher. Zach's mom drove in the ambulance to the hospital with her son and I arranged with her that she should call me when they were ready to be picked up. My ex-husband and another friend took her car home for her. She called me around 11 that night to say that they were done at the hospital and he only had a cervical strain.
This weekend, Zach is trying to take it easy. Not so easy for him considering Friday night, one of his friends had a sleepover party with 20 boys. He was there with my son for a few hours and then Zach went home rather than sleeping over. Today, Zach is here with my son and four other boys and they are trying to find things to do that Zach can also do.
My son asked me why Zach's mom was crying at the football field, even though she did her best to hide the tears from her son and the other people. She didn't cry in front of Zach but as she came back down the field to get in the ambulance, she was wiping her eyes. My son noticed that. Jason wanted to know why she was crying and when he hurt his knee, I was making jokes and I didn't cry. I said I didn't want to upset him and wanted him to feel ok - that if I cried in front of him or acted like it was serious, he would be more scared and anxious and it would hurt worse for him. May not have been the best explanation because he said he would know in the future and not believe me when I say that it is fine and not a big deal.
Sunday, September 09, 2007
Eight Things About Me
Sully tagged me so here it goes:
1) I have a crooked face. The one side of my face is slightly smaller than the other. Most people don't notice it at all and even if I say something about it, they don't see it. Others notice it right away. At one of my jobs, I had to take a physical exam by the company doctor. As soon as I got into the exam room, the company doctor asked me what happened to my face and suggested that I have surgery to correct it. He was very rude and it didn't seem strange to him that he would suggest I have all the bones in my face broken so they would align up a little better.
I also can raise my one eyebrow (like Spock on Star Trek) which can really bug some people. I could never do Botox because I wouldn't want to lose that ability!
2) I am always surprised by my outward appearance and presence as compared to how I feel in the inside. When I see myself on video, it never seems to sync up to the inner person. Today, I was also thinking to myself that while I turn 45 in December, I don't feel 45 at all. At times, I feel more like a gawky teenager trying to figure things out.
3) When I was about 2, my family moved to Japan and lived on a naval base while my father served in Vietnam. When we left Japan two years later, I was speaking half-Japanese, half-English. Of course, now, I can't speak any Japanese. Always wondered if I would be able to pick it up easily or not. I spoke German fairly fluently in high school and college. When I was in Germany a few years ago, I could understand those around me, but could not speak as much as I used to be able to.
4) I learned how to drink Guinness beer in Germany at an Irish bar from a Scottish salesman who was dating the Croatian barmaid. They took us to another club where friends of their's were playing in the band. The lead singer of that band was a brain surgeon who had operated on the Croatian woman's son after a bombing.
5) When I was in elementary school, I was placed in a gifted program, an advanced studies program that took me out of class one day a week to go to a different school. I didn't like the program because it made me feel too different than the other kids. One week, I didn't want to go to the program because my class was doing something else I considered to be more fun. Since my parents wouldn't let me skip the advanced program, I decided I would miss the bus so I couldn't go. I walked the mile to school taking baby steps the whole way. It didn't work however. The school held the bus for me. When I got home, my mother wanted to know where I had been all day. Apparently the school called her and said I wasn't there. But they never called her back to say I was there.
6) My father was in the Navy so we moved around quite a bit. After Japan, we went to Rhode Island where I learned to read in nursery school. We then moved to Pennsylvania and I was asked to leave kindergarten because I was disruptive. They were learning the alphabet and I already knew how to read. We lived with my grandmother for a while in PA in a small coal mining town, Nesquehoning. I used to roam the streets and talk to the neighbors. There was one man, I called him the Onion Man, because I would talk to him while he was working in his vegetable garden. I told him that my grandmother could take her teeth out and kept them in a glass. He said, like this? and pushed his false teeth out of his mouth. I ran home and I'm not sure I ever talked to him again.
7) I graduated from college with a degree in business and a concentration in personnel management. I changed my major several times in college, starting out as a journalism major, then to social work and then to business. Before I graduated, I did my internship at Three Mile Island working in their personnel department for a summer in college. I remembered back when the accident happened at TMI. I lived nearby and my father was the town manager. As town manager, he was in charge of evacuating the town if it came to that. A 16-year old at the time, I decided I was not leaving. We argued about it but we were never evacuated.
After college, I took a temporary job at a trucking company that turned into five years. While there, I went back to college and started earning another degree in computer science. My daughter was born and I quit the trucking company to focus on school. My first computer science job was for a company who hired most if not all their employees in mid-June. They would have 200-300 people start every year at the same time. My IT team (10 of us) spent that summer in orientation together. They were all very early 20s and I was almost 30, married, and with a two-year old child.
8) I have always loved music even though I can't sing and my kids laugh at my dancing attempts. I played electric guitar in elementary school, then took drum lessons (got kicked out of the school band), and taught myself piano and some violin. When my daughter wanted to take an instrument in elementary school, I suggested she also take piano lessons. When she started, I started taking them as well. Figured I should learn to play the right way. So, now I take piano lessons one day a week, in the morning before I leave for work. My instructor comes to my house before 6 am - only time I can be sure that I have the time. Work and kids take up all the rest of my time. :-)
So now I have to tag eight other bloggers, so I'll tag:
ColleenM
Nabonidus
GreekZoe
Rich Greiner
Whooligan
Mermaid in MN
Suesjoy
Delbut
1) I have a crooked face. The one side of my face is slightly smaller than the other. Most people don't notice it at all and even if I say something about it, they don't see it. Others notice it right away. At one of my jobs, I had to take a physical exam by the company doctor. As soon as I got into the exam room, the company doctor asked me what happened to my face and suggested that I have surgery to correct it. He was very rude and it didn't seem strange to him that he would suggest I have all the bones in my face broken so they would align up a little better.
I also can raise my one eyebrow (like Spock on Star Trek) which can really bug some people. I could never do Botox because I wouldn't want to lose that ability!
2) I am always surprised by my outward appearance and presence as compared to how I feel in the inside. When I see myself on video, it never seems to sync up to the inner person. Today, I was also thinking to myself that while I turn 45 in December, I don't feel 45 at all. At times, I feel more like a gawky teenager trying to figure things out.
3) When I was about 2, my family moved to Japan and lived on a naval base while my father served in Vietnam. When we left Japan two years later, I was speaking half-Japanese, half-English. Of course, now, I can't speak any Japanese. Always wondered if I would be able to pick it up easily or not. I spoke German fairly fluently in high school and college. When I was in Germany a few years ago, I could understand those around me, but could not speak as much as I used to be able to.
4) I learned how to drink Guinness beer in Germany at an Irish bar from a Scottish salesman who was dating the Croatian barmaid. They took us to another club where friends of their's were playing in the band. The lead singer of that band was a brain surgeon who had operated on the Croatian woman's son after a bombing.
5) When I was in elementary school, I was placed in a gifted program, an advanced studies program that took me out of class one day a week to go to a different school. I didn't like the program because it made me feel too different than the other kids. One week, I didn't want to go to the program because my class was doing something else I considered to be more fun. Since my parents wouldn't let me skip the advanced program, I decided I would miss the bus so I couldn't go. I walked the mile to school taking baby steps the whole way. It didn't work however. The school held the bus for me. When I got home, my mother wanted to know where I had been all day. Apparently the school called her and said I wasn't there. But they never called her back to say I was there.
6) My father was in the Navy so we moved around quite a bit. After Japan, we went to Rhode Island where I learned to read in nursery school. We then moved to Pennsylvania and I was asked to leave kindergarten because I was disruptive. They were learning the alphabet and I already knew how to read. We lived with my grandmother for a while in PA in a small coal mining town, Nesquehoning. I used to roam the streets and talk to the neighbors. There was one man, I called him the Onion Man, because I would talk to him while he was working in his vegetable garden. I told him that my grandmother could take her teeth out and kept them in a glass. He said, like this? and pushed his false teeth out of his mouth. I ran home and I'm not sure I ever talked to him again.
7) I graduated from college with a degree in business and a concentration in personnel management. I changed my major several times in college, starting out as a journalism major, then to social work and then to business. Before I graduated, I did my internship at Three Mile Island working in their personnel department for a summer in college. I remembered back when the accident happened at TMI. I lived nearby and my father was the town manager. As town manager, he was in charge of evacuating the town if it came to that. A 16-year old at the time, I decided I was not leaving. We argued about it but we were never evacuated.
After college, I took a temporary job at a trucking company that turned into five years. While there, I went back to college and started earning another degree in computer science. My daughter was born and I quit the trucking company to focus on school. My first computer science job was for a company who hired most if not all their employees in mid-June. They would have 200-300 people start every year at the same time. My IT team (10 of us) spent that summer in orientation together. They were all very early 20s and I was almost 30, married, and with a two-year old child.
8) I have always loved music even though I can't sing and my kids laugh at my dancing attempts. I played electric guitar in elementary school, then took drum lessons (got kicked out of the school band), and taught myself piano and some violin. When my daughter wanted to take an instrument in elementary school, I suggested she also take piano lessons. When she started, I started taking them as well. Figured I should learn to play the right way. So, now I take piano lessons one day a week, in the morning before I leave for work. My instructor comes to my house before 6 am - only time I can be sure that I have the time. Work and kids take up all the rest of my time. :-)
So now I have to tag eight other bloggers, so I'll tag:
ColleenM
Nabonidus
GreekZoe
Rich Greiner
Whooligan
Mermaid in MN
Suesjoy
Delbut
Saturday, August 25, 2007
End of Summer
College started last week for my daughter. She is finding it easier than she expected. That's good. School starts Tuesday for my son. He is not excited about going back, but I am. He's been running pretty free this summer and I'd like him to have more structure in his life.
We spent a night this week in the ER with a football injury. My son sprained his knee badly when he got tackled during practice. He was in a lot of pain for two days, but today, it seems back to normal. The doctor didn't want to release him for football until next Friday, but I expect he'll be back at practice before then.
Work has been incredibly busy the last few weeks. I am kicking off a global project to implement SAP security tools for all Consumer operating companies. So I had people in from all over the world for a week to begin the planning and design work. We got a lot done during the week and I've gotten kudos from the project sponsors and my boss. I spent a lot of time getting ready for it and then spent every day leading the discussion and the evenings documenting our accomplishments. By the time the weekend came around, I was exhausted. Plus, we have another project we are working on that has a critical deadline, will save us $15-20 million a year ongoing, that is behind schedule. The project manager is, in my view, not doing a very good job and I've had to step in too many times to try and get it back on track. It was stressful for me because I don't like having to tell my boss this person isn't doing a good job and trying to intercede tactfully, but effectively, has been draining.
I am also teaching myself FrontPage. My church has asked me to take over the church website. It was redesigned recently by someone, but no one has been able to keep it up to date. The task was assigned to one of the church secretaries, but she didn't really have the time or the skills to update it. It has been a little frustrating, because some of my changes appear to the public, but others are not showing up. As I look at the different files, they don't seem to be connected the way the manuals tell me they should be. And, errors are present in most pages when I look at the error reports. I've finally gotten the contact information for the person who redesigned it and hopefully once I sit down with him, I'll be able to make more sense of it. Any FrontPage experts out there can feel free to send me some tips 'n tricks!
We spent a night this week in the ER with a football injury. My son sprained his knee badly when he got tackled during practice. He was in a lot of pain for two days, but today, it seems back to normal. The doctor didn't want to release him for football until next Friday, but I expect he'll be back at practice before then.
Work has been incredibly busy the last few weeks. I am kicking off a global project to implement SAP security tools for all Consumer operating companies. So I had people in from all over the world for a week to begin the planning and design work. We got a lot done during the week and I've gotten kudos from the project sponsors and my boss. I spent a lot of time getting ready for it and then spent every day leading the discussion and the evenings documenting our accomplishments. By the time the weekend came around, I was exhausted. Plus, we have another project we are working on that has a critical deadline, will save us $15-20 million a year ongoing, that is behind schedule. The project manager is, in my view, not doing a very good job and I've had to step in too many times to try and get it back on track. It was stressful for me because I don't like having to tell my boss this person isn't doing a good job and trying to intercede tactfully, but effectively, has been draining.
I am also teaching myself FrontPage. My church has asked me to take over the church website. It was redesigned recently by someone, but no one has been able to keep it up to date. The task was assigned to one of the church secretaries, but she didn't really have the time or the skills to update it. It has been a little frustrating, because some of my changes appear to the public, but others are not showing up. As I look at the different files, they don't seem to be connected the way the manuals tell me they should be. And, errors are present in most pages when I look at the error reports. I've finally gotten the contact information for the person who redesigned it and hopefully once I sit down with him, I'll be able to make more sense of it. Any FrontPage experts out there can feel free to send me some tips 'n tricks!
Saturday, August 11, 2007
What does the future hold?
Several of us went to a psychic fair today and had our fortunes told and underwent a reike healing exercise. I thought my reading went very well. I've done this before and had some readings that turned out to be extremely accurate - sometimes they would mention people in my life without any way of knowing about those people. Once I had a reader tell me something about my Uncle Charles. I told her I didn't have an Uncle Charles. She insisted I did. And, actually I did have an Uncle Charles, but we always called him Chuck and I never thought of him as Charles. Other readers took my comments and created a future based on my words and comments.
This reading was from tarot cards and I spoke very little so the reader was not feeding my information back to me. She started out by saying that I was working through an issue with my mother. I said I didn't have any issues with my mother. She insisted I did and that I was working through it and was beginning the separation process from her. That I needed to separate from her before I could have a permanent relationship with anyone. I asked her if possibly she was talking about my daughter. Since she is in her late teens, of course, we are working through the normal separation process. But in our case, we have always had issues with my dating ever since I left her father eight years ago. As she moves onto college and is dating herself, we are working through this.
My reader identified a number of issues I am currently working through and said she saw positive resolution by year-end. She also had positive things to say about my career. She had some messages from my father and said that he is trying very hard to contact me and is frustrated that I am not hearing him. My father died when I was 19 and after his death, I felt him and heard him quite often, but now, not so much. She said I need to start spending a few minutes a day opening myself up to him to try and let him get his messages through.
She had a lot of information about my daughter, that without my saying anything about her, was very true. I regret now I didn't ask about my son. Although another reader did say positive things about my son to my mother who was also at the event.
Next year, I am to have a stronger sense of stability and will be striving for balance in all aspects of my life. Since I feel more stable, I will have more peace and more relaxation and fun in my life.
On a sadder note, I have learned (not at the reading) someone I care about very much is probably going to die in the near future. He is at peace with this news, says he has had a good life and has done whatever reconciliation he needed to do with the people in his life. He is not an old man and should have had many more years to enjoy his life and family. He is going to live his days out the way he wants to and with the people who mean the most to him.
Friday, August 03, 2007
Vote for Amanda Kaletsky
On the radio to the left, vote for Amanda. Voting is through Sept 18.
For those of you who haven't heard Amanda, check out her website (link on my site) and give a listen to her music. She plays on the east coast and I think she's pretty good. The song she has entered is not one of my favorites. I really like her song "December" and the song "Never Enough"
For those of you who haven't heard Amanda, check out her website (link on my site) and give a listen to her music. She plays on the east coast and I think she's pretty good. The song she has entered is not one of my favorites. I really like her song "December" and the song "Never Enough"
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
Dress Makes a Man
I had to go to NJ the other day for work to visit the home office. While driving home, I was listening to the BBC on my Sirius radio. They had a news item where they referenced a British saying that dress makes a man. That's probably not the right phrase - my memory doesn't retain as much as it used to... but it's very similar to our saying in the States.
But anyway, they were doing a segment of three incidents that happened in the world recently about the style of dress. I only listened to the first segment because they were going to report on them in separate parts of the hour's show. The first incident they talked about occurred in South Africa. A woman wearing pants was attacked by a mob who were unhappy about her wearing such modern, urban attire. They stripped her of her pants and made her parade half-naked in front of them and then they burned her house down. On BBC they were debating whether this was done because they feared the pants as being an urban symbol or because they viewed pants as being too modern. Such attacks are unfortunately not uncommon.
When we were in Niagara Falls the other week, there were a large number of Muslim visitors. I'm assuming they were tourists since they were in the tourist area, but maybe they were residents. It was a warm day, but not overwhelmingly hot if you were wearing light clothing. Several of the Muslim women were wearing the full burkas, including only a small slit for their eyes to see through. Dressed all in black, it must have been extremely hot for them. Others were fully covered and wore head scarves, while a few had decorated black burkas without the full headcovering, but only a scarf covering their hair. Most of the young Muslim female children were wearing less clothing, but I did see one or two very young girls wearing full coverings and head scarves. I also saw a few families with several generations where the older women wore the full coverings and the other generations were less covered, the younger they were. Grandmothers in almost full burkas, mothers fully covered but only with a head scarf, teenage girls fully covered but with their hair uncovered. The fathers however, all were wearing short-sleeve shirts and shorts, much more appropriate for the weather.
I remember trying to leave my house as a teenager and my father would stop me and tell me to go change because no daughter of his was leaving the house looking like that. Young girls today, like my daughter, dress in a sexier fashion than I would like at times. As Chair of the Worship Commission at church, I sometimes get complaints about the attire of the young female acolytes. At the later service, which mostly older members attend, we ask the acolytes to wear a robe. Short skirts can cause problems when lighting the altar candles. I remember arguing with my parents that people should judge us by our character, not by our clothes, makeup or hairstyle. Problem is people don't see your character, they see your appearance.
I can understand dressing modestly, or wearing certain clothing styles, as part of your religion. I can't understand covering yourself up from head to toe in black with even a black net covering your eyes.
But anyway, they were doing a segment of three incidents that happened in the world recently about the style of dress. I only listened to the first segment because they were going to report on them in separate parts of the hour's show. The first incident they talked about occurred in South Africa. A woman wearing pants was attacked by a mob who were unhappy about her wearing such modern, urban attire. They stripped her of her pants and made her parade half-naked in front of them and then they burned her house down. On BBC they were debating whether this was done because they feared the pants as being an urban symbol or because they viewed pants as being too modern. Such attacks are unfortunately not uncommon.
When we were in Niagara Falls the other week, there were a large number of Muslim visitors. I'm assuming they were tourists since they were in the tourist area, but maybe they were residents. It was a warm day, but not overwhelmingly hot if you were wearing light clothing. Several of the Muslim women were wearing the full burkas, including only a small slit for their eyes to see through. Dressed all in black, it must have been extremely hot for them. Others were fully covered and wore head scarves, while a few had decorated black burkas without the full headcovering, but only a scarf covering their hair. Most of the young Muslim female children were wearing less clothing, but I did see one or two very young girls wearing full coverings and head scarves. I also saw a few families with several generations where the older women wore the full coverings and the other generations were less covered, the younger they were. Grandmothers in almost full burkas, mothers fully covered but only with a head scarf, teenage girls fully covered but with their hair uncovered. The fathers however, all were wearing short-sleeve shirts and shorts, much more appropriate for the weather.
I remember trying to leave my house as a teenager and my father would stop me and tell me to go change because no daughter of his was leaving the house looking like that. Young girls today, like my daughter, dress in a sexier fashion than I would like at times. As Chair of the Worship Commission at church, I sometimes get complaints about the attire of the young female acolytes. At the later service, which mostly older members attend, we ask the acolytes to wear a robe. Short skirts can cause problems when lighting the altar candles. I remember arguing with my parents that people should judge us by our character, not by our clothes, makeup or hairstyle. Problem is people don't see your character, they see your appearance.
I can understand dressing modestly, or wearing certain clothing styles, as part of your religion. I can't understand covering yourself up from head to toe in black with even a black net covering your eyes.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
A Wall of Fire
I am a fireworks fanatic. The week of July 4th is spent going from one fireworks display to another. We have good shows here.
When we got to the hotel in Niagara, I was excited to see a flier lying on the check-in counter advertising a half-hour long, Wall of Fire, a kilometer long, most spectacular fireworks display you will ever see. The show was supposed to start at 10:00 on Saturday.
Saturday, we went over to the Falls and walked around. Of course, we did the Journey Behind the Falls, and then picked up the Peoplemover to go to the Butterfly Conservatory. We got off unexpectedly to walk the trails down to the river. I hadn't done that before and it was a neat experience. Also discovered how badly out of shape I was - I would rather do this type of exercise than go to the gym, but of course, spending more time at the gym would have helped with some of those steep climbs.
After we were done exploring, we headed back towards the Falls area. We found an outside table at a restaurant overlooking the Falls. It was supposed to be a good spot to observe the fireworks and we thought we would get thrown out to make room for people with reservations. But we lingered over food, drinks, dessert, drinks, and more food until the fireworks started.
Crowds began to gather below, staking out their space on the lawn or the sidewalk. There was a band playing outside who sounded pretty good. Fathers were dancing with their young daughters. Children were jumping, running and laughing with each other. Moms were spreading out blankets and leftover ponchos as seats.
I have to confess though I was so disappointed with the fireworks show. The crowds that were below me were ooh'ing and ah'ing. Photographers and videographers on the balcony with me were trying to get every shot. It was not what I would call a wall of fire. I had expected something more like a constant finale for a kilometer down the street. Instead, it was a boom, pause, a boom, pause, boom, boom, pause, .... Yawn...
But all in all, it was a great day and spending dinner overlooking the Falls was a pretty good evening. As the sun was setting, you could see the rainbows over the Falls where the sunlight hit the mist.
When we got to the hotel in Niagara, I was excited to see a flier lying on the check-in counter advertising a half-hour long, Wall of Fire, a kilometer long, most spectacular fireworks display you will ever see. The show was supposed to start at 10:00 on Saturday.
Saturday, we went over to the Falls and walked around. Of course, we did the Journey Behind the Falls, and then picked up the Peoplemover to go to the Butterfly Conservatory. We got off unexpectedly to walk the trails down to the river. I hadn't done that before and it was a neat experience. Also discovered how badly out of shape I was - I would rather do this type of exercise than go to the gym, but of course, spending more time at the gym would have helped with some of those steep climbs.
After we were done exploring, we headed back towards the Falls area. We found an outside table at a restaurant overlooking the Falls. It was supposed to be a good spot to observe the fireworks and we thought we would get thrown out to make room for people with reservations. But we lingered over food, drinks, dessert, drinks, and more food until the fireworks started.
Crowds began to gather below, staking out their space on the lawn or the sidewalk. There was a band playing outside who sounded pretty good. Fathers were dancing with their young daughters. Children were jumping, running and laughing with each other. Moms were spreading out blankets and leftover ponchos as seats.
I have to confess though I was so disappointed with the fireworks show. The crowds that were below me were ooh'ing and ah'ing. Photographers and videographers on the balcony with me were trying to get every shot. It was not what I would call a wall of fire. I had expected something more like a constant finale for a kilometer down the street. Instead, it was a boom, pause, a boom, pause, boom, boom, pause, .... Yawn...
But all in all, it was a great day and spending dinner overlooking the Falls was a pretty good evening. As the sun was setting, you could see the rainbows over the Falls where the sunlight hit the mist.
Butterfly Man
We went to Niagara Falls for the weekend. I should say the day, because we got there Friday night, had Saturday at the Falls, and came back Sunday. Schuyler wanted to go to the Butterfly Conservatory. We got there at a bad time - several tour buses had just dropped off which made it a little crowded.
I've been to Niagara before and to the Butterfly Conservatory. I remember the conservatory more fondly in the past than this weekend with the crowds. They tell you over and over not to try and touch the butterflies but to let them land on you. People were continually trying to touch the butterflies and to force them onto their fingers. I felt stressed watching them. When I saw a little boy pick one up by the wings, I had to say something. When I told him he would hurt the butterflies like that, he threw it behind one of the bushes and walked off.
There were some pretty blue butterflies there from Costa Rica. I was chasing them around with my camera lens but they wouldn't stay still. And when they were still, they folded up their wings which were a unattractive brownish color on the other side. The one here I finally got right as we were leaving. It landed on this boy's sleeve while at the same time, another landed on his hand. One little boy had four butterflies on him at once.
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Priorities
According to the National Priorities Project,
http://www.nationalpriorities.org/home/index.php, Pennsylvania has or will spend $17.4 billion through 2007 for the Iraq War.
Instead of war, we could have chosen to spend that money to provide:
4,040,849 People with Health Care
OR
287,581 Elementary School Teachers
OR
2,466,634 Head Start Places for Children
OR
5,135,438 Children with Health Care
OR
176,723 Affordable Housing Units
OR
1,210 New Elementary Schools
OR
1,510,938 Scholarships for University Students
OR
296,911 Music and Arts Teachers
OR
400,989 Public Safety Officers
OR
20,911,444 Homes with Renewable Electricity
OR
267,352 Port Container Inspectors
OR......
What could you have done with the money to better the world? And, what could those who died, all who died, have done with their lives?
http://www.nationalpriorities.org/home/index.php, Pennsylvania has or will spend $17.4 billion through 2007 for the Iraq War.
Instead of war, we could have chosen to spend that money to provide:
4,040,849 People with Health Care
OR
287,581 Elementary School Teachers
OR
2,466,634 Head Start Places for Children
OR
5,135,438 Children with Health Care
OR
176,723 Affordable Housing Units
OR
1,210 New Elementary Schools
OR
1,510,938 Scholarships for University Students
OR
296,911 Music and Arts Teachers
OR
400,989 Public Safety Officers
OR
20,911,444 Homes with Renewable Electricity
OR
267,352 Port Container Inspectors
OR......
What could you have done with the money to better the world? And, what could those who died, all who died, have done with their lives?
Sunday, July 08, 2007
Great to see Mac again
Schuyler and I packed up the kids and went to NJ Friday where we met up with Colleen. Leaving the kids in the hotel, we headed into New York City to see Ian McLagan and the Bump Band at BB King's. Colleen and I had seen Mac in Austin at SXSW. First time for both of us, but we made sure we caught their act three times.
Our table at first was off to the side, but fortunately for us, some people left the center table so we asked to switch seats. We were looking for Lynne who is Mac's assistant - turns out, she was sitting right below us in the lower level. Our new seats were perfect.
The show was too short, partly our fault because we got there a little late. Hotel had no restaurant due to renovations so we had to feed the kids before we could leave. But after the show, we had the opportunity to meet Mac again and spend a few minutes talking to him. Like a past experience with Pete, it was deja vu when the guy behind us in line had an armful of old record albums that he wanted signed. We let him go in front of us so we would have more time to chat with Lynne and Mac.
Mac and the boys are touring this summer so if you have the opportunity to catch up with them, have a great time!
America - What's Happened to Us?
That's what Melissa Etheridge asked during her performance at LiveEarth in NJ Saturday. She sang a song, "Imagine That" in which she talked about the power of change and how we can become agents of change. She stopped in the middle of the song to ask "America, what's happened to us?" She talked about the past and how when there was an unjust war, people stood up and raised their voices against it, some giving their lives for the cause.
She referred to a time in the past when we had a criminal for a President. Said that democracy was important to us and we stood up and raised our voices against him. "America, what's happened to us?" She said that maybe our credit cards and our desire to consume is taking up our time.
Imagine if Monday morning, we would raise our voices and say Enough! She has faith in America, that when Americans see injustice, they rise up and speak the truth...
You can see part of her performance and all the LiveEarth performers at http://liveearth.msn.com/
Monday, June 25, 2007
People Who Live in Glass Houses
I paid attention to the Paris Hilton drama only because I thought she was going to get special treatment because she is famous for being famous. I was angry at her parents' reaction when she was sentenced to jailtime. I thought they were making excuses for her behavior and encouraging her not to accept responsibility for her actions. When she was released from jail early, I was disappointed but not surprised. I was very surprised when she was sent back to fulfill her sentence and also surprised that she managed to complete it outside of the hospital cell. I'm not sure she should have gotten 20+ days but after spending a day in NJ traffic court, I can't say it seemed unusual. Traffic court judges hear all kinds of stories and excuses and at times, they seem to enjoy their ability to hand down sentences. I was lucky in a sense - I felt strongly enough that my ticket was unjust and I was able to get the prosecutor to reduce my penalty. In the past, when I got a ticket, I paid the penalty without question. This time, however, I wanted my day in court.
But, I'm getting away from the point of this post. It now appears that the prosecutor had some sins of his own that are now putting him on the hot seat. It is alleged that his wife not only drove on a suspended license; she, as he did, drove for long periods of time without insurance; she crashed his city-issued car and he allowed the taxpayers to pay for the repairs; the company she owned failed to pay taxes and he had his city staff run personal errands for him as well as babysit his children. While he was screaming for Paris to fulfill the legal penalty for her crimes, he seemed to have no compunction to follow the law or to fulfill the ethics of his office himself.
There was a family killed recently in a town a few miles from my home. A man, his wife and his son were stabbed in their home located in a small peaceful community where people often didn't even lock their doors. It scared everyone. There was a run on security systems. Neighborhoods were lit up at night. People formed neighborhood watches and luckily no one was shot accidently as nervous residents either bought firearms or brought them out of closets and locked boxes. The police brought in the FBI as they had no clues and no suspects. It recently turned out that a young high school boy committed the crimes, killing the family of what was supposed to be his best friend. He also killed his best friend.
Who turned in the killer? It was his parents. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for them to take that step. They loved him. They provided a good life for him. He was never in trouble before. While his parents were divorced, they had joint custody of him and lived close to each other. It seems he spent his time between the two of them and they seemed, from the news and from community reports, to be a good family. After the murders, the boy experienced what seemed to be extreme grief, what was to be expected when your best friend is mysteriously and tragically murdered for some unknown reason by some unknown assailant. The boy threatened suicide and was eventually committed to a psychiatric institution for his own safety. While there, he confessed the murder to his father and told him where the weapon was. After what must have been a terrible 48 hours, the father and the mother went to the police and turned their son in. They have not abandoned him, however, they seem to be supporting him without making excuses for him.
In today's world, that parents would do that, turn their son in to the police is amazing to me. I'm used to the parents like the ones who denied up and down that their children smashed the mailboxes in my neighborhood even though they were caught standing next to the smashed mailbox with a baseball bat. He was just standing there at 3:00 am when the mailbox just fell over by itself. Someone else must have done it. Not my son!
I can't imagine having my child tell me that they have done something so horrendous, so awful as to purposely take someone else's life, to take three people's lives. What guilt you must feel, what shock and horror, as you watch your child's life and all the dreams you had for that child fall away to what will most likely be life in prison. And, your life, the position you had in the community, your friends - it's all changed for those parents. Just as their son's life is destroyed, they will have to rebuild their lives and change their dreams for the future. They continue to face the scrutiny of the press, from CNN to the local news. How do they find the strength to move forward, to help their son through this, to get themselves through this? But then again, they had the strength to do the right thing.
But, I'm getting away from the point of this post. It now appears that the prosecutor had some sins of his own that are now putting him on the hot seat. It is alleged that his wife not only drove on a suspended license; she, as he did, drove for long periods of time without insurance; she crashed his city-issued car and he allowed the taxpayers to pay for the repairs; the company she owned failed to pay taxes and he had his city staff run personal errands for him as well as babysit his children. While he was screaming for Paris to fulfill the legal penalty for her crimes, he seemed to have no compunction to follow the law or to fulfill the ethics of his office himself.
There was a family killed recently in a town a few miles from my home. A man, his wife and his son were stabbed in their home located in a small peaceful community where people often didn't even lock their doors. It scared everyone. There was a run on security systems. Neighborhoods were lit up at night. People formed neighborhood watches and luckily no one was shot accidently as nervous residents either bought firearms or brought them out of closets and locked boxes. The police brought in the FBI as they had no clues and no suspects. It recently turned out that a young high school boy committed the crimes, killing the family of what was supposed to be his best friend. He also killed his best friend.
Who turned in the killer? It was his parents. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for them to take that step. They loved him. They provided a good life for him. He was never in trouble before. While his parents were divorced, they had joint custody of him and lived close to each other. It seems he spent his time between the two of them and they seemed, from the news and from community reports, to be a good family. After the murders, the boy experienced what seemed to be extreme grief, what was to be expected when your best friend is mysteriously and tragically murdered for some unknown reason by some unknown assailant. The boy threatened suicide and was eventually committed to a psychiatric institution for his own safety. While there, he confessed the murder to his father and told him where the weapon was. After what must have been a terrible 48 hours, the father and the mother went to the police and turned their son in. They have not abandoned him, however, they seem to be supporting him without making excuses for him.
In today's world, that parents would do that, turn their son in to the police is amazing to me. I'm used to the parents like the ones who denied up and down that their children smashed the mailboxes in my neighborhood even though they were caught standing next to the smashed mailbox with a baseball bat. He was just standing there at 3:00 am when the mailbox just fell over by itself. Someone else must have done it. Not my son!
I can't imagine having my child tell me that they have done something so horrendous, so awful as to purposely take someone else's life, to take three people's lives. What guilt you must feel, what shock and horror, as you watch your child's life and all the dreams you had for that child fall away to what will most likely be life in prison. And, your life, the position you had in the community, your friends - it's all changed for those parents. Just as their son's life is destroyed, they will have to rebuild their lives and change their dreams for the future. They continue to face the scrutiny of the press, from CNN to the local news. How do they find the strength to move forward, to help their son through this, to get themselves through this? But then again, they had the strength to do the right thing.
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