Monday, June 25, 2007

People Who Live in Glass Houses

I paid attention to the Paris Hilton drama only because I thought she was going to get special treatment because she is famous for being famous. I was angry at her parents' reaction when she was sentenced to jailtime. I thought they were making excuses for her behavior and encouraging her not to accept responsibility for her actions. When she was released from jail early, I was disappointed but not surprised. I was very surprised when she was sent back to fulfill her sentence and also surprised that she managed to complete it outside of the hospital cell. I'm not sure she should have gotten 20+ days but after spending a day in NJ traffic court, I can't say it seemed unusual. Traffic court judges hear all kinds of stories and excuses and at times, they seem to enjoy their ability to hand down sentences. I was lucky in a sense - I felt strongly enough that my ticket was unjust and I was able to get the prosecutor to reduce my penalty. In the past, when I got a ticket, I paid the penalty without question. This time, however, I wanted my day in court.

But, I'm getting away from the point of this post. It now appears that the prosecutor had some sins of his own that are now putting him on the hot seat. It is alleged that his wife not only drove on a suspended license; she, as he did, drove for long periods of time without insurance; she crashed his city-issued car and he allowed the taxpayers to pay for the repairs; the company she owned failed to pay taxes and he had his city staff run personal errands for him as well as babysit his children. While he was screaming for Paris to fulfill the legal penalty for her crimes, he seemed to have no compunction to follow the law or to fulfill the ethics of his office himself.

There was a family killed recently in a town a few miles from my home. A man, his wife and his son were stabbed in their home located in a small peaceful community where people often didn't even lock their doors. It scared everyone. There was a run on security systems. Neighborhoods were lit up at night. People formed neighborhood watches and luckily no one was shot accidently as nervous residents either bought firearms or brought them out of closets and locked boxes. The police brought in the FBI as they had no clues and no suspects. It recently turned out that a young high school boy committed the crimes, killing the family of what was supposed to be his best friend. He also killed his best friend.

Who turned in the killer? It was his parents. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for them to take that step. They loved him. They provided a good life for him. He was never in trouble before. While his parents were divorced, they had joint custody of him and lived close to each other. It seems he spent his time between the two of them and they seemed, from the news and from community reports, to be a good family. After the murders, the boy experienced what seemed to be extreme grief, what was to be expected when your best friend is mysteriously and tragically murdered for some unknown reason by some unknown assailant. The boy threatened suicide and was eventually committed to a psychiatric institution for his own safety. While there, he confessed the murder to his father and told him where the weapon was. After what must have been a terrible 48 hours, the father and the mother went to the police and turned their son in. They have not abandoned him, however, they seem to be supporting him without making excuses for him.

In today's world, that parents would do that, turn their son in to the police is amazing to me. I'm used to the parents like the ones who denied up and down that their children smashed the mailboxes in my neighborhood even though they were caught standing next to the smashed mailbox with a baseball bat. He was just standing there at 3:00 am when the mailbox just fell over by itself. Someone else must have done it. Not my son!

I can't imagine having my child tell me that they have done something so horrendous, so awful as to purposely take someone else's life, to take three people's lives. What guilt you must feel, what shock and horror, as you watch your child's life and all the dreams you had for that child fall away to what will most likely be life in prison. And, your life, the position you had in the community, your friends - it's all changed for those parents. Just as their son's life is destroyed, they will have to rebuild their lives and change their dreams for the future. They continue to face the scrutiny of the press, from CNN to the local news. How do they find the strength to move forward, to help their son through this, to get themselves through this? But then again, they had the strength to do the right thing.

3 comments:

colleen m said...

A highschool kid committed the murders? WOW did he know the family?

grace said...

I don't know, good question.

As the old saying goes, it takes all kinds.

It seems in this country that the privilegded are treated differently, in some cases made an example of as in Paris, who was wrong in what she did. Look at Snoop Dog, drugs, guns, no jail time, community sevice which will be reduced with $(can't say that for sure but look at all the 'celebrity' cases)none are true to the book, it seems all made up accordingly.

Anyway, it is a neverending debate. But as far as parents turning in their own children, must be a very difficult decision. Who do you do right by?

zoeentwistle said...

In regards to Paris Hilton, I think she should have done the entire 45 days. After that, she should spend time with victims of drunk driving accidents.I see firsthand the agony they(drunk drivers) cause when they decide to get behind the wheel in a state of oblivion. And the funny thing is, the drunks usually don't get hurt. If they do, it is not as bad as the ones that are also involved in the wreck.

In regards to the teenager that killed his best friend's family. I feel bad for the parents of the killer. I couldn't even imagine the pain they must be going through. So sad.

What is this world coming to?

Zoe