The Looming Tower

Where did September go?

I went to San Francisco for a business conference. While on the plane, I read Lawrence Wright's book "The Looming Tower: Al-Qaeda and the Road to 9/11." It was a fascinating story about how Al-Qaeda evolved and the personal histories of Osama Bin Laden and Ayman al-Zawahiri.

"Not content to cleanse its own country of the least degree of religious freedom, the Saudi government set out to evangelize the Islamic world, using the billions of riyals at its disposal through the religious tax -- zakat -- to construct hundreds of mosques and colleges and thousands of religious schools around the globe, staffed with Wahhabi imams and teachers. Eventually, Saudi Arabia, which constitutes only 1 percent of the world Muslim population, would support 90 percent of the expenses of the entire faith, overriding other traditions of Islam.

Music disappeared in the Kingdom. Shortly after the 1979 attack on the Grand Mosque in Mecca, Umm Kalthoum and Fayrouz, the songbirds of the Arab world, were banished from the Kingdom's television stations, which were already dominated by bearded men debating fine points of religious law. There had been a few movie theaters in Saudi Arabia before the mosque attack, but they were quickly shut down. A magnificent concert hall was completed by Riyadh in 1989, but it never hosted a single performance. Censorship smothered art and literature, and intellectual life, which had scarcely had the chance to blossom in the young country, withered. Paranoia and fanaticism naturally occupy minds that are closed and fearful.

For the young, the future in this already joyless environment promised even less than the present. ... Despair and idleness are dangerous companions in any culture, and it was inevitable that the young would search for a hero who could voice their longing for a change and provide a focus for their rage."

Injury TimeOut

Went to pick my son up from football practice Thursday night. As I got there, I saw a group of people huddled around someone laying on the ground at the far end of the field. One of my friends was running across the field with a colored afghan she must have grabbed from her car.

My son and other boys were running around the near part of the field so I was instantly relieved to see it wasn't him. Another father came up from the concession stand area calling for his son. I asked him who had been injured and he said I think it is Zach. Zach is the son of my friend who had been running across the field.

I walked across the field to find Zach lying on the ground with a coach (who is also a paramedic) also lying on the ground holding his helmet to keep his head and neck still. Zach's mother was sitting on the ground talking to her son. The ambulance soon arrived and drove across the field. Zach was moving his feet and hands so I felt sure he was going to be ok, but it was still very emotional to see him strapped onto a backboard with his head immoblized and then strapped onto the stretcher. Zach's mom drove in the ambulance to the hospital with her son and I arranged with her that she should call me when they were ready to be picked up. My ex-husband and another friend took her car home for her. She called me around 11 that night to say that they were done at the hospital and he only had a cervical strain.

This weekend, Zach is trying to take it easy. Not so easy for him considering Friday night, one of his friends had a sleepover party with 20 boys. He was there with my son for a few hours and then Zach went home rather than sleeping over. Today, Zach is here with my son and four other boys and they are trying to find things to do that Zach can also do.

My son asked me why Zach's mom was crying at the football field, even though she did her best to hide the tears from her son and the other people. She didn't cry in front of Zach but as she came back down the field to get in the ambulance, she was wiping her eyes. My son noticed that. Jason wanted to know why she was crying and when he hurt his knee, I was making jokes and I didn't cry. I said I didn't want to upset him and wanted him to feel ok - that if I cried in front of him or acted like it was serious, he would be more scared and anxious and it would hurt worse for him. May not have been the best explanation because he said he would know in the future and not believe me when I say that it is fine and not a big deal.

Eight Things About Me

Sully tagged me so here it goes:

1) I have a crooked face. The one side of my face is slightly smaller than the other. Most people don't notice it at all and even if I say something about it, they don't see it. Others notice it right away. At one of my jobs, I had to take a physical exam by the company doctor. As soon as I got into the exam room, the company doctor asked me what happened to my face and suggested that I have surgery to correct it. He was very rude and it didn't seem strange to him that he would suggest I have all the bones in my face broken so they would align up a little better.

I also can raise my one eyebrow (like Spock on Star Trek) which can really bug some people. I could never do Botox because I wouldn't want to lose that ability!

2) I am always surprised by my outward appearance and presence as compared to how I feel in the inside. When I see myself on video, it never seems to sync up to the inner person. Today, I was also thinking to myself that while I turn 45 in December, I don't feel 45 at all. At times, I feel more like a gawky teenager trying to figure things out.

3) When I was about 2, my family moved to Japan and lived on a naval base while my father served in Vietnam. When we left Japan two years later, I was speaking half-Japanese, half-English. Of course, now, I can't speak any Japanese. Always wondered if I would be able to pick it up easily or not. I spoke German fairly fluently in high school and college. When I was in Germany a few years ago, I could understand those around me, but could not speak as much as I used to be able to.

4) I learned how to drink Guinness beer in Germany at an Irish bar from a Scottish salesman who was dating the Croatian barmaid. They took us to another club where friends of their's were playing in the band. The lead singer of that band was a brain surgeon who had operated on the Croatian woman's son after a bombing.

5) When I was in elementary school, I was placed in a gifted program, an advanced studies program that took me out of class one day a week to go to a different school. I didn't like the program because it made me feel too different than the other kids. One week, I didn't want to go to the program because my class was doing something else I considered to be more fun. Since my parents wouldn't let me skip the advanced program, I decided I would miss the bus so I couldn't go. I walked the mile to school taking baby steps the whole way. It didn't work however. The school held the bus for me. When I got home, my mother wanted to know where I had been all day. Apparently the school called her and said I wasn't there. But they never called her back to say I was there.

6) My father was in the Navy so we moved around quite a bit. After Japan, we went to Rhode Island where I learned to read in nursery school. We then moved to Pennsylvania and I was asked to leave kindergarten because I was disruptive. They were learning the alphabet and I already knew how to read. We lived with my grandmother for a while in PA in a small coal mining town, Nesquehoning. I used to roam the streets and talk to the neighbors. There was one man, I called him the Onion Man, because I would talk to him while he was working in his vegetable garden. I told him that my grandmother could take her teeth out and kept them in a glass. He said, like this? and pushed his false teeth out of his mouth. I ran home and I'm not sure I ever talked to him again.

7) I graduated from college with a degree in business and a concentration in personnel management. I changed my major several times in college, starting out as a journalism major, then to social work and then to business. Before I graduated, I did my internship at Three Mile Island working in their personnel department for a summer in college. I remembered back when the accident happened at TMI. I lived nearby and my father was the town manager. As town manager, he was in charge of evacuating the town if it came to that. A 16-year old at the time, I decided I was not leaving. We argued about it but we were never evacuated.

After college, I took a temporary job at a trucking company that turned into five years. While there, I went back to college and started earning another degree in computer science. My daughter was born and I quit the trucking company to focus on school. My first computer science job was for a company who hired most if not all their employees in mid-June. They would have 200-300 people start every year at the same time. My IT team (10 of us) spent that summer in orientation together. They were all very early 20s and I was almost 30, married, and with a two-year old child.

8) I have always loved music even though I can't sing and my kids laugh at my dancing attempts. I played electric guitar in elementary school, then took drum lessons (got kicked out of the school band), and taught myself piano and some violin. When my daughter wanted to take an instrument in elementary school, I suggested she also take piano lessons. When she started, I started taking them as well. Figured I should learn to play the right way. So, now I take piano lessons one day a week, in the morning before I leave for work. My instructor comes to my house before 6 am - only time I can be sure that I have the time. Work and kids take up all the rest of my time. :-)

So now I have to tag eight other bloggers, so I'll tag:

ColleenM
Nabonidus
GreekZoe
Rich Greiner
Whooligan
Mermaid in MN
Suesjoy
Delbut

End of Summer

College started last week for my daughter. She is finding it easier than she expected. That's good. School starts Tuesday for my son. He is not excited about going back, but I am. He's been running pretty free this summer and I'd like him to have more structure in his life.

We spent a night this week in the ER with a football injury. My son sprained his knee badly when he got tackled during practice. He was in a lot of pain for two days, but today, it seems back to normal. The doctor didn't want to release him for football until next Friday, but I expect he'll be back at practice before then.

Work has been incredibly busy the last few weeks. I am kicking off a global project to implement SAP security tools for all Consumer operating companies. So I had people in from all over the world for a week to begin the planning and design work. We got a lot done during the week and I've gotten kudos from the project sponsors and my boss. I spent a lot of time getting ready for it and then spent every day leading the discussion and the evenings documenting our accomplishments. By the time the weekend came around, I was exhausted. Plus, we have another project we are working on that has a critical deadline, will save us $15-20 million a year ongoing, that is behind schedule. The project manager is, in my view, not doing a very good job and I've had to step in too many times to try and get it back on track. It was stressful for me because I don't like having to tell my boss this person isn't doing a good job and trying to intercede tactfully, but effectively, has been draining.

I am also teaching myself FrontPage. My church has asked me to take over the church website. It was redesigned recently by someone, but no one has been able to keep it up to date. The task was assigned to one of the church secretaries, but she didn't really have the time or the skills to update it. It has been a little frustrating, because some of my changes appear to the public, but others are not showing up. As I look at the different files, they don't seem to be connected the way the manuals tell me they should be. And, errors are present in most pages when I look at the error reports. I've finally gotten the contact information for the person who redesigned it and hopefully once I sit down with him, I'll be able to make more sense of it. Any FrontPage experts out there can feel free to send me some tips 'n tricks!

What does the future hold?

Several of us went to a psychic fair today and had our fortunes told and underwent a reike healing exercise. I thought my reading went very well. I've done this before and had some readings that turned out to be extremely accurate - sometimes they would mention people in my life without any way of knowing about those people. Once I had a reader tell me something about my Uncle Charles. I told her I didn't have an Uncle Charles. She insisted I did. And, actually I did have an Uncle Charles, but we always called him Chuck and I never thought of him as Charles. Other readers took my comments and created a future based on my words and comments.

This reading was from tarot cards and I spoke very little so the reader was not feeding my information back to me. She started out by saying that I was working through an issue with my mother. I said I didn't have any issues with my mother. She insisted I did and that I was working through it and was beginning the separation process from her. That I needed to separate from her before I could have a permanent relationship with anyone. I asked her if possibly she was talking about my daughter. Since she is in her late teens, of course, we are working through the normal separation process. But in our case, we have always had issues with my dating ever since I left her father eight years ago. As she moves onto college and is dating herself, we are working through this.

My reader identified a number of issues I am currently working through and said she saw positive resolution by year-end. She also had positive things to say about my career. She had some messages from my father and said that he is trying very hard to contact me and is frustrated that I am not hearing him. My father died when I was 19 and after his death, I felt him and heard him quite often, but now, not so much. She said I need to start spending a few minutes a day opening myself up to him to try and let him get his messages through.

She had a lot of information about my daughter, that without my saying anything about her, was very true. I regret now I didn't ask about my son. Although another reader did say positive things about my son to my mother who was also at the event.

Next year, I am to have a stronger sense of stability and will be striving for balance in all aspects of my life. Since I feel more stable, I will have more peace and more relaxation and fun in my life.

On a sadder note, I have learned (not at the reading) someone I care about very much is probably going to die in the near future. He is at peace with this news, says he has had a good life and has done whatever reconciliation he needed to do with the people in his life. He is not an old man and should have had many more years to enjoy his life and family. He is going to live his days out the way he wants to and with the people who mean the most to him.

Vote for Amanda Kaletsky

On the radio to the left, vote for Amanda. Voting is through Sept 18.

For those of you who haven't heard Amanda, check out her website (link on my site) and give a listen to her music. She plays on the east coast and I think she's pretty good. The song she has entered is not one of my favorites. I really like her song "December" and the song "Never Enough"

Dress Makes a Man

I had to go to NJ the other day for work to visit the home office. While driving home, I was listening to the BBC on my Sirius radio. They had a news item where they referenced a British saying that dress makes a man. That's probably not the right phrase - my memory doesn't retain as much as it used to... but it's very similar to our saying in the States.

But anyway, they were doing a segment of three incidents that happened in the world recently about the style of dress. I only listened to the first segment because they were going to report on them in separate parts of the hour's show. The first incident they talked about occurred in South Africa. A woman wearing pants was attacked by a mob who were unhappy about her wearing such modern, urban attire. They stripped her of her pants and made her parade half-naked in front of them and then they burned her house down. On BBC they were debating whether this was done because they feared the pants as being an urban symbol or because they viewed pants as being too modern. Such attacks are unfortunately not uncommon.

When we were in Niagara Falls the other week, there were a large number of Muslim visitors. I'm assuming they were tourists since they were in the tourist area, but maybe they were residents. It was a warm day, but not overwhelmingly hot if you were wearing light clothing. Several of the Muslim women were wearing the full burkas, including only a small slit for their eyes to see through. Dressed all in black, it must have been extremely hot for them. Others were fully covered and wore head scarves, while a few had decorated black burkas without the full headcovering, but only a scarf covering their hair. Most of the young Muslim female children were wearing less clothing, but I did see one or two very young girls wearing full coverings and head scarves. I also saw a few families with several generations where the older women wore the full coverings and the other generations were less covered, the younger they were. Grandmothers in almost full burkas, mothers fully covered but only with a head scarf, teenage girls fully covered but with their hair uncovered. The fathers however, all were wearing short-sleeve shirts and shorts, much more appropriate for the weather.

I remember trying to leave my house as a teenager and my father would stop me and tell me to go change because no daughter of his was leaving the house looking like that. Young girls today, like my daughter, dress in a sexier fashion than I would like at times. As Chair of the Worship Commission at church, I sometimes get complaints about the attire of the young female acolytes. At the later service, which mostly older members attend, we ask the acolytes to wear a robe. Short skirts can cause problems when lighting the altar candles. I remember arguing with my parents that people should judge us by our character, not by our clothes, makeup or hairstyle. Problem is people don't see your character, they see your appearance.

I can understand dressing modestly, or wearing certain clothing styles, as part of your religion. I can't understand covering yourself up from head to toe in black with even a black net covering your eyes.

A Wall of Fire

I am a fireworks fanatic. The week of July 4th is spent going from one fireworks display to another. We have good shows here.

When we got to the hotel in Niagara, I was excited to see a flier lying on the check-in counter advertising a half-hour long, Wall of Fire, a kilometer long, most spectacular fireworks display you will ever see. The show was supposed to start at 10:00 on Saturday.



Saturday, we went over to the Falls and walked around. Of course, we did the Journey Behind the Falls, and then picked up the Peoplemover to go to the Butterfly Conservatory. We got off unexpectedly to walk the trails down to the river. I hadn't done that before and it was a neat experience. Also discovered how badly out of shape I was - I would rather do this type of exercise than go to the gym, but of course, spending more time at the gym would have helped with some of those steep climbs.

After we were done exploring, we headed back towards the Falls area. We found an outside table at a restaurant overlooking the Falls. It was supposed to be a good spot to observe the fireworks and we thought we would get thrown out to make room for people with reservations. But we lingered over food, drinks, dessert, drinks, and more food until the fireworks started.

Crowds began to gather below, staking out their space on the lawn or the sidewalk. There was a band playing outside who sounded pretty good. Fathers were dancing with their young daughters. Children were jumping, running and laughing with each other. Moms were spreading out blankets and leftover ponchos as seats.

I have to confess though I was so disappointed with the fireworks show. The crowds that were below me were ooh'ing and ah'ing. Photographers and videographers on the balcony with me were trying to get every shot. It was not what I would call a wall of fire. I had expected something more like a constant finale for a kilometer down the street. Instead, it was a boom, pause, a boom, pause, boom, boom, pause, .... Yawn...

But all in all, it was a great day and spending dinner overlooking the Falls was a pretty good evening. As the sun was setting, you could see the rainbows over the Falls where the sunlight hit the mist.

Butterfly Man

We went to Niagara Falls for the weekend. I should say the day, because we got there Friday night, had Saturday at the Falls, and came back Sunday. Schuyler wanted to go to the Butterfly Conservatory. We got there at a bad time - several tour buses had just dropped off which made it a little crowded.

I've been to Niagara before and to the Butterfly Conservatory. I remember the conservatory more fondly in the past than this weekend with the crowds. They tell you over and over not to try and touch the butterflies but to let them land on you. People were continually trying to touch the butterflies and to force them onto their fingers. I felt stressed watching them. When I saw a little boy pick one up by the wings, I had to say something. When I told him he would hurt the butterflies like that, he threw it behind one of the bushes and walked off.



There were some pretty blue butterflies there from Costa Rica. I was chasing them around with my camera lens but they wouldn't stay still. And when they were still, they folded up their wings which were a unattractive brownish color on the other side. The one here I finally got right as we were leaving. It landed on this boy's sleeve while at the same time, another landed on his hand. One little boy had four butterflies on him at once.

Priorities

According to the National Priorities Project,
http://www.nationalpriorities.org/home/index.php, Pennsylvania has or will spend $17.4 billion through 2007 for the Iraq War.

Instead of war, we could have chosen to spend that money to provide:

4,040,849 People with Health Care

OR

287,581 Elementary School Teachers

OR

2,466,634 Head Start Places for Children

OR

5,135,438 Children with Health Care

OR

176,723 Affordable Housing Units

OR

1,210 New Elementary Schools

OR

1,510,938 Scholarships for University Students

OR

296,911 Music and Arts Teachers

OR

400,989 Public Safety Officers

OR

20,911,444 Homes with Renewable Electricity

OR

267,352 Port Container Inspectors

OR......



What could you have done with the money to better the world? And, what could those who died, all who died, have done with their lives?

Great to see Mac again

Schuyler and I packed up the kids and went to NJ Friday where we met up with Colleen. Leaving the kids in the hotel, we headed into New York City to see Ian McLagan and the Bump Band at BB King's. Colleen and I had seen Mac in Austin at SXSW. First time for both of us, but we made sure we caught their act three times.

Our table at first was off to the side, but fortunately for us, some people left the center table so we asked to switch seats. We were looking for Lynne who is Mac's assistant - turns out, she was sitting right below us in the lower level. Our new seats were perfect.

The show was too short, partly our fault because we got there a little late. Hotel had no restaurant due to renovations so we had to feed the kids before we could leave. But after the show, we had the opportunity to meet Mac again and spend a few minutes talking to him. Like a past experience with Pete, it was deja vu when the guy behind us in line had an armful of old record albums that he wanted signed. We let him go in front of us so we would have more time to chat with Lynne and Mac.

Mac and the boys are touring this summer so if you have the opportunity to catch up with them, have a great time!

America - What's Happened to Us?

That's what Melissa Etheridge asked during her performance at LiveEarth in NJ Saturday. She sang a song, "Imagine That" in which she talked about the power of change and how we can become agents of change. She stopped in the middle of the song to ask "America, what's happened to us?" She talked about the past and how when there was an unjust war, people stood up and raised their voices against it, some giving their lives for the cause.

She referred to a time in the past when we had a criminal for a President. Said that democracy was important to us and we stood up and raised our voices against him. "America, what's happened to us?" She said that maybe our credit cards and our desire to consume is taking up our time.

Imagine if Monday morning, we would raise our voices and say Enough! She has faith in America, that when Americans see injustice, they rise up and speak the truth...

You can see part of her performance and all the LiveEarth performers at http://liveearth.msn.com/

People Who Live in Glass Houses

I paid attention to the Paris Hilton drama only because I thought she was going to get special treatment because she is famous for being famous. I was angry at her parents' reaction when she was sentenced to jailtime. I thought they were making excuses for her behavior and encouraging her not to accept responsibility for her actions. When she was released from jail early, I was disappointed but not surprised. I was very surprised when she was sent back to fulfill her sentence and also surprised that she managed to complete it outside of the hospital cell. I'm not sure she should have gotten 20+ days but after spending a day in NJ traffic court, I can't say it seemed unusual. Traffic court judges hear all kinds of stories and excuses and at times, they seem to enjoy their ability to hand down sentences. I was lucky in a sense - I felt strongly enough that my ticket was unjust and I was able to get the prosecutor to reduce my penalty. In the past, when I got a ticket, I paid the penalty without question. This time, however, I wanted my day in court.

But, I'm getting away from the point of this post. It now appears that the prosecutor had some sins of his own that are now putting him on the hot seat. It is alleged that his wife not only drove on a suspended license; she, as he did, drove for long periods of time without insurance; she crashed his city-issued car and he allowed the taxpayers to pay for the repairs; the company she owned failed to pay taxes and he had his city staff run personal errands for him as well as babysit his children. While he was screaming for Paris to fulfill the legal penalty for her crimes, he seemed to have no compunction to follow the law or to fulfill the ethics of his office himself.

There was a family killed recently in a town a few miles from my home. A man, his wife and his son were stabbed in their home located in a small peaceful community where people often didn't even lock their doors. It scared everyone. There was a run on security systems. Neighborhoods were lit up at night. People formed neighborhood watches and luckily no one was shot accidently as nervous residents either bought firearms or brought them out of closets and locked boxes. The police brought in the FBI as they had no clues and no suspects. It recently turned out that a young high school boy committed the crimes, killing the family of what was supposed to be his best friend. He also killed his best friend.

Who turned in the killer? It was his parents. I cannot imagine how difficult it was for them to take that step. They loved him. They provided a good life for him. He was never in trouble before. While his parents were divorced, they had joint custody of him and lived close to each other. It seems he spent his time between the two of them and they seemed, from the news and from community reports, to be a good family. After the murders, the boy experienced what seemed to be extreme grief, what was to be expected when your best friend is mysteriously and tragically murdered for some unknown reason by some unknown assailant. The boy threatened suicide and was eventually committed to a psychiatric institution for his own safety. While there, he confessed the murder to his father and told him where the weapon was. After what must have been a terrible 48 hours, the father and the mother went to the police and turned their son in. They have not abandoned him, however, they seem to be supporting him without making excuses for him.

In today's world, that parents would do that, turn their son in to the police is amazing to me. I'm used to the parents like the ones who denied up and down that their children smashed the mailboxes in my neighborhood even though they were caught standing next to the smashed mailbox with a baseball bat. He was just standing there at 3:00 am when the mailbox just fell over by itself. Someone else must have done it. Not my son!

I can't imagine having my child tell me that they have done something so horrendous, so awful as to purposely take someone else's life, to take three people's lives. What guilt you must feel, what shock and horror, as you watch your child's life and all the dreams you had for that child fall away to what will most likely be life in prison. And, your life, the position you had in the community, your friends - it's all changed for those parents. Just as their son's life is destroyed, they will have to rebuild their lives and change their dreams for the future. They continue to face the scrutiny of the press, from CNN to the local news. How do they find the strength to move forward, to help their son through this, to get themselves through this? But then again, they had the strength to do the right thing.

Men in Kilts

Went to the Celtic Fling with my boyfriend and his kids. Lots of men in kilts and women in costumes walked the grounds. We sat down at one stage and they started recruiting men for the kilts competition. The kids said they wanted to stay, but that's because they didn't really know what it was. After the third man strutted down the stage and hitched his kilt up slightly to show his legs, they decided they had had enough. Below is a picture of the men gathering courage for the competition.

Lots of fabulous Irish music and Irish step-dancing. This was the Wood family who appeared last year on "Who's got talent" - that may not be the right name of the show, I've never watched it. But apparently they were in the top five. They have six children and the entire family is in the show. The girls play violins, as do the boys who also played other instruments. There was a seven-year old boy Aiden who occasionally ran out and did some step-dancing and then ran backstage again

Roller Coasters

We have season passes to a local amusement park. I took my son and his friend on Saturday for the day. If he wouldn't have scheduled the day with a friend, I would have skipped going as I woke up with a bad headache. But we went and I mostly sat by the exits waiting for the boys to get off the rides. When we went into the water park section, I took a nap in the shade for an hour or so while the boys played on the water slides.

I thought I was rid of my headache and went on a roller coaster with the boys. My headache came back with a vengence so once again, I was sitting at the exits waiting. I have always loved roller coasters, but lately I don't know if it is because I am getting older or if the new coasters have gotten too wild for me, but I'm not as excited about them as I used to be. My son only started enjoying coasters last year.

This year, he wanted to go on a coaster he hadn't been on before - it goes from 0-60 in 2 seconds and the entire ride only lasts 60 seconds. I couldn't go on because of my headache, plus I didn't want to leave his friend alone for the time we would wait in line. My son pleaded and begged his friend to go on with him, but his friend refused. My son decided he would go on alone, but was wavering in his decision. He finally strode off to the end of the line and we waited for him to return. Would he go on the coaster by himself or would he return telling us the line was too long...

He went on the coaster and is so proud of himself for doing so. And, I am surprised and proud as well.

Growing Up

It has been a busy month so far. My daughter and her friends graduated from high school, my cousin got married and I had a business trip to Chicago.

Graduation was something my daughter has been waiting for for a long time. She has found high school to be too full of drama. I am happy that she has always been self-confident enough to get through high school without succumbing to peer pressure, not letting the cliches get to her. Teenage girls can be so mean to each other. I thought I would avoid that with my son, but I'm finding even 11-year old boys can act like that.

The weekend after graduation, we had her graduation party. Immediately following the party, we drove to a harbor city where my cousin was getting married. About 30 of us had dinner there and then spent the night. The next morning, we went to the cruise ship for the wedding. They got married on the ship and then sailed to Bermuda for their honeymoon. Some of the wedding party and guests joined them on the cruise. I had to race to the airport to fly to Chicago for a business trip.

Most of my pictures from the wedding were horrible. The room was fairly dark and even though it was cloudy and overcast outside, the windows were very bright. So my pictures were either too light, too dark or too blurry.

Exile

I just finished Richard North Patterson's book, Exile. It was a fascinating read set in current time exploring the relationship between Israel and Palestine and the other relationship in the Middle East, including the US relationship with the Middle East. It is a raw depiction of the hate and pain on both sides and how it has affected multiple generations, continuing today without cease. A Jewish man and a Palestinian woman fall in love in college. But they cannot be together due to their cultural backgrounds. He is not a religious Jew, but still shaped by the Jewish destiny. She feels an inescapable draw to her family, her cultural upbringing, which he can not understand as he is more American than Jewish. Most Americans do not have that undying connection to their families, to their history. They try to shape their own destinies, not adapt to a destiny that was shaped for them by others. Most do not understand sacrificing your own desires to fulfill someone else's, to meet your obligations to your family and your village.

After 13 years, they meet again. This time she is accused of murdering the Israeli Prime Minister, an act of terrorism. He defends her, losing his fiance, his political career and most of the life he had built since college. In his search for a defense, he goes to the Middle East and sees the pain and the hatred first hand.

I have read much of the history of the Middle East. I get daily emails from the Christian Peacemaker Teams, but the depiction of the current existence shown through the eyes of two lovers who cannot be together made it seem more real. My mother who gave me the book hadn't realized the way it is. She couldn't believe that a woman in labor could wait for hours to pass through a border crossing even if it meant that she or her baby would die in the car waiting for permission.

There is so much hatred and wrong done by both sides. Will we ever find peace and acceptance?

Back from NJ

I was in NJ last week for work. Long meetings all day, entertaining at night, and no internet in the hotel. Got back Friday night and spent the weekend working on the yard - cutting grass, putting soil around the foundation of the house and then spreading mulch. Ran out of mulch and have about 5' left to go.

My daughter had her Prom Saturday night. The girls were ready around 3 and weren't supposed to leave until 5. So they went out for ice cream. Limo and their dates arrived around 5 along with all the family members for a photo shoot in my backyard. She was beautiful and her boyfriend also looked very dapper. They had a very good time.

Update on the bird's nest: Only one egg remains and Momma bird has apparently flown the coop. Haven't seen her for a while, so we think something attacked the nest.

Happy Mother's Day to everyone.

Ruth Hart

Ruth Hart died on Wednesday. I didn't know Ruth very well. I learned more about her in her obituary than I did from her in person. She didn't talk about herself, but showed her love for people through her actions.

I met Ruth when teaching a fifth-grade Sunday School class. Ruth ran the food bank at our church. I arranged for my class to meet Ruth. She told them about the food bank, how it was organized and who used the food bank. She explained to them how bags of food were provided to people or families who needed food, how much and what types of food were put into the bags, and explained how she distributed food based on her knowledge of the family. For example, based on the number of children, she might put extra fruit or juice in the bags. My class conducted a food drive for the food bank.

After that, whenever I saw Ruth, she greeted me with a hug and told me how happy she was to see me. She told me in words and actions that she thought I was special.

The Saturday before she died, I ran into her at a local restaurant. Again, she gave me a hug and told me how happy she was to see me. She told my date how much she enjoyed seeing my smiling face at church and how special I was. I didn't see her at church the next day although I'm told she was there. She must have come to the later service. I thought about her many times that week for some reason.

This morning at our Homeless Breakfast, I learned the news that she had died earlier in the week. We all talked about how much she had done for people. After the breakfast, I came home and looked for her obituary. I had missed it in the paper. I learned in her obituary that she was a nurse, married for 51 years before becoming a widow, had lost an infant son, and had a surviving son, several grandchildren and several great-grandchildren. She worked in public health and also was a long-term volunteer in serving the underprivileged. Her work with the Food Bank was only one of the many things that she did.

I've been thinking about Ruth and other people like her a lot today. While Ruth did many things for people, one of the things that she did most was make people feel special. When she saw you, she was happy to see you. She hugged you and focused her conversation on you.

There are other people I've felt that way about. Jim, one of my former managers, was like that. When you walked into his office, no matter what he was doing, he made you feel like he had been waiting there just for you and was so happy to see you. This guy goes on vacations and makes life-long friends while on vacation. He has traveled with these new friends, gone to visit them at their homes on future vacations, and stays in touch with them.

Monica, also from church, welcomes people into her home all the time. She collects strays, mostly teenagers, but sometimes adults, and takes them under her wing until they are able to stand on their own. She represents Mother Earth to me - stable, understanding, comforting, nurturing - a wife, a mother, a daughter, a friend.

I think about how I interact with other people. I do a lot of community service, but do I really touch other people like these people do? Do I make them feel special and show them that I am happy to see them? Do I talk about them or do I talk about me in our conversations? Do I focus more on my list of to-do items rather than enjoying my time with these people?

Thank you, Ruth, for making me feel special. I will miss you.

Bird's Nest

There is a perfectly formed bird's nest in the tree next to my deck. My dog is going crazy with it constantly trying to get to the tree, either through the railing or from the ground. She stands on the deck pointing to the nest. Wonder what she'll do when the eggs hatch.

We were sitting out on the deck and mama bird was missing for a long time. After cooking on the grill, the bird still hadn't come back so I was afraid we scared her off. But when I went out to put the grill cover back on, she was sitting on the nest. Of course, my putting on the grill cover scared her off again.